Not long ago, in a two-part session in the Deep Talk Club on Clubhouse, we first explored what’s really behind the German saying “Eigenlob stinkt” (self-praise stinks): is self-praise inherently bad, or is that just something we were trained to believe? Are there contexts where it would actually make sense to lean into more self-praise, in the sense of self-marketing? How do we handle it ourselves, and how do we react when others engage in it?
On the second day, we changed two letters to turn the German phrase “Eigenlob stinkt” (self-praise stinks) into “Eigenlob stimmt” (self-praise rings true). The task was to look back on this year and find examples we’re genuinely proud of, to share them in the room with the others — a room, in other words, where we were explicitly invited to engage in self-praise. What became clear was how hard most people find it to say something positive about themselves: lots of dissociated descriptions and explanations, generalizations using words like “one” instead of “I”, softeners like “actually” that immediately downplay one’s own achievement, and much more. Asking which specific qualities were actually helpful in achieving this or that delivered plenty of insightful aha-moments along the way.
Try it out for yourself too, to observe and reflect on what happens — ideally in pairs, so you can each pay close attention to the other’s choice of words and give each other feedback on what stands out. Afterward, find out which qualities helped you get to that success. Finally, share the experiences you made with the exercise.
Have fun trying it out!
Be there live when we reflect on topics like this every day on Clubhouse, and feel free to jump in actively too. Here’s the link to the Deep Talk Club on Clubhouse.
© Image: huhehoda – stock.adobe.com
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