Brain Food for Pioneering Spirits: is confidence always a good thing, or can it also become an excuse to never take action? In Room #898 of the Deep Talk Club, under our overarching theme “Pioneering Spirit with brAIn,” the group traces the word “Zuversicht” back to its Middle High German root, hears how a stroke survivor ran an extreme marathon in Bhutan, digs into why young people in Germany report less confidence in crisis than peers in Mexico, Nigeria, or Kenya, and lands on the weeds-in-the-garden problem: confidence alone won’t pull them out. Listen in on the examples that came up and the perspectives that emerged in dialogue…
Note: This session was recorded live in German as part of the Deep Talk Club, so the video above is German-language audio only. What follows is an English translation of the conversation, lightly edited for readability — the back-and-forth between the moderator and participants is preserved, but the original timestamps and speaker names have been left out.
A very good morning to you all. Today we’re continuing under the overarching theme “Pioneering Spirit with brAIn,” with the room topic confidence and hope, and we want to look at the question of what significance confidence and hope actually have in times ranging from mild unease to panic-level fear. I’m really curious about this. Over the past days we’ve picked up a wide range of topics — on one hand, viewed completely separately, some technological developments, then connected to what these technological links have to do with each other when viewed in combination, and what effects, both opportunities and risks, can arise from that, what developments are taking place. Then looking a bit at the societal, political level. And yes, over the past days there were a few aspects where, sure, opportunities were also shown, but where you might also get the feeling that in one place or another a risk, or a feeling of unease, might predominate. And so today I’d like to continue with the room topic confidence and hope, to look together at what significance confidence and hope play, especially in times when you feel like a lot is coming together, when we feel uneasy, all the way to a certain panic-level fear. I don’t want to imply there is panic-level fear — I’ve taken both poles, mild unease all the way to panic-level fear, just so we have this range at this point. And in that sense you’re very, very warmly invited to join again this morning, enter the exchange, and simply open up different perspectives, depending on what impulses come up for you as first thoughts in connection with this room topic, so that together in dialogue we can set our framework for reflection here, enter the exchange, open up different perspectives, and see together which direction the room develops in today. And then a quick reminder, we have a recording running the entire time, which will accordingly be published afterward. That means whoever joins automatically agrees that the recording applies to them too, or that it will be published. And then we have three small room rules: a profile photo in which you’re recognizable, then first and last name, and at least one sentence in your bio. Whoever doesn’t want that for whatever reason, wants to stay anonymous or similar, of course also has the opportunity today to simply use the chat to enter the exchange, and then we can see whether we can pick up on one thing or another accordingly. Yes, and with that I’d like to mute myself now, I was about to say. And there’s already the first hand raised.
A very good morning, dear Marc. What do you say about the topic?
Good morning, nice to start the weekend with you all. Yes, first I looked at the word yesterday, confidence — well, actually “Zuversicht” — because that gives me an incredible amount of joy. I’ve noticed about myself, and maybe it’s the same for all of us, that we use words and can also explain them, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly. And it always helps me steer my thoughts if I first look at where the word comes from. Or maybe the origin of the word leads me to a new insight. And I found out that the word “Zuversicht” comes from Middle High German, “zuoversiht,” which means something like “a good view” or “a good outlook.” That’s how I would have interpreted it too, I just hadn’t found this explanation. And that’s why I really enjoy always looking, even at words that are really familiar to me, always asking myself, do you actually know where this comes from? Do you know for certain what it means? And that often leads to new insights, or at least to new learning.
Yes, wonderful, thank you so, so much. So indeed, once again approaching it via a definition, so to speak, to kick off or set in motion first thoughts, is always very helpful in generating insights from it. Did you say — what were those insights or aha-moments for you from this consideration, this definition, dear Marc?
Yes, this morning while grocery shopping, a completely new train of thought came to me, and I’ve learned in your rooms, or from your rooms, that there are always two ways to look at something. On one hand, confidence is an attitude, that we don’t let ourselves be discouraged, looking at the future or oriented toward the future with a positive mindset. At the same time — maybe we’ll discuss this too — at the same time I also have a thesis, or would like to put up for discussion, to what extent confidence can be positive for our development on one hand, but at the same time also an obstacle and negative, and I’ll explain that in more detail in a moment.
Yes wonderful, thank you so, so much. And you put it so nicely, at least two possibilities, maybe even more, but if we think from the extremes now, from the extreme poles, and say positive or negative — exactly, and I’m really curious how far that can go in a negative direction, in quotation marks, in this context from your point of view, and what thoughts you’ve brought to that. Marc, please continue.
Okay, I’ll start with the negative today and then move to the positive. I thought about confidence in religion too. Confidence has something to do with belief, so I thought of religion, and also that confidence can be a way to avoid taking action and making a decision. And I brought an example for you so you can understand me better. If I tell someone, you just need to be confident, or we need to be confident, I get a big thumbs up. But if being confident at the same time means I don’t need to act, then that’s naive, and it can have serious consequences. For example, if I treat my partner badly and just think, oh, I’m confident, it’ll be fine — well, how long is she going to put up with that? If I don’t reflect on my actions, at some point she’ll be gone. So being confident won’t do us any good there. If I don’t go to work, constantly call in sick, and don’t fulfill my duties and my performance, I can be very confident that I’m a nice guy and that my boss will somehow carry me along, but at some point I might lose my job. And that’s what I mean by that. And then the answer came to me this morning while I was walking: confidence, for me, is a bridge, but a bridge consists of several pillars. And that’s why confidence involves several aspects, because a bridge can never stand on just one pillar alone.
Yes wonderful, and if we look more closely at that now — you described confidence earlier as an attitude, for example, and now in this context with action, so to speak, that means it can consequently lead to me, on one hand, leaning back and saying, well, I’m confident, it’ll work out, or on the other hand, translating that into activity and saying, okay, I’m confident, so let’s tackle it, to put it casually. And that means it would also be interesting to consider what, in quotation marks, is then the prerequisite at this point for me to move into action out of confidence, or into passivity. So maybe there are various components that play a role here accordingly. Maybe you have more ideas on that, Marc?
Yes, I think I mentioned earlier this year that professionally I also had a situation where a very, very good employee is now going her own way too, not completely, but partly. As a business owner, that always means less revenue, less profit and so on. And I immediately tried to look at how to get into action. There are certain things I can’t accept — that’s part of my life philosophy, not that I find everything good, but I accept certain things and then try to find a way to deal with them. And there are also certain things where confidence won’t help me at all. I’ve also mentioned before that my father isn’t doing well right now — that’s simply age-related. Confidence won’t help me there. I won’t find an answer for myself through confidence there. And that’s why, for me, confidence is only a bridge for certain areas of my life, that helps me in certain areas of my life. For other areas of my life, I then need gratitude instead. Gratitude that there were moments I like to remember and that I still enjoy those moments while they’re here. But confidence isn’t the sole cure-all. And for me, confidence also isn’t rose-colored optimism, but rather just the attitude, as you already said, to get into action and then consider which action, or where can I actively intervene, where can I change something and where can I not change something and just accept it without it having to please me. What I accept doesn’t have to please me, but I accept it then.
Yes, and here too there are various other components we can look at. On one hand this aspect, what’s actually even the prerequisite for having confidence at all. Here terms might come into play that we’ve already picked up in other contexts too, something like trust, for example. What role does trust play in this context? And especially regarding this action or inaction, we can build the bridge a bit again to those aspects we’ve also had time and again in rooms in the context of motivation. So what actually gets me into action, or not into action, and how might that possibly connect here too — that would be another interesting question. And yes, before you continue again, dear Marc, I’d like to warmly invite the others to join too, and enter the exchange. What are your thoughts when you hear these various approaches, so to speak? Maybe you have concrete examples you’d like to bring in too, or further perspectives that we haven’t opened up at all yet, so that we can push open the door here into various directions of thinking too. So please join, so that we can expand this space of reflection, so to speak, not just in dialogue as a pair, but further, because that of course opens up more perspectives and thereby also enables further insights for ourselves. And once again, a quick reminder, the room is recorded the entire time, that means whoever joins automatically agrees that the recording is running and will be published accordingly afterward. And we have three small room rules. First, a profile photo in which you’re clearly recognizable, first and last name, and at least one sentence in your bio. Whoever doesn’t want that for whatever reason, or currently can’t speak or something, of course also has the possibility to bring in one thought or question via the chat.
Marc, these two components, so possibly, for example, trust as a prerequisite — trust in what, and in what context does trust stand here — are there maybe further components for confidence, and on the other hand, how does this action or inaction connect in this context with these thoughts on motivation, and with other aspects that we’ve already opened up in other rooms too? Would you like to continue on that?
Very, very gladly. And do you know, dear Yasemin, who I thought of first, both this morning and already yesterday evening — our dear Patrick, the “happyologist.” If I think — I don’t know if you know, I think I’m allowed to say this because he said it himself — Patrick had a stroke and then decided that sport is incredibly important for him. And he not only decided to run a marathon, which was completely unthinkable given that he could even walk again or do any sport at all, but he went to Bhutan for a charity run. And that wasn’t just a marathon — if you look at the pictures or read the reports from Patrick, it was an extreme marathon. And that really impressed me deeply, showing where confidence, where one’s own belief in ourselves, can really move mountains. And these are mountains for me. From a stroke, from barely being able to move — I don’t know if it was that dramatic for Patrick, but a stroke is bad enough — then to say, I’m running an extreme marathon, hats off and deep respect. It really impressed me, and stories like that give me strength too when small problems come up, where you’d say uneasy, where it’s really not panic-level fear, just uneasy, where I can then smile and say, well, if Patrick can run an extreme marathon after a stroke, then whatever task is waiting for you, you’ll solve it with ease. So stories like that help me get into action myself too, and find courage and find energy.
Yes wonderful, thank you so, so much. And that’s also a nice example you brought in at this point. And you used another term in this context, namely the term decision. So making a decision certainly plays a certain role here too. And I’m really, really curious to look at this term again in this context too. And with that I’d like to warmly welcome Jürgen to our side this morning. A very good morning Jürgen. What do you say about today’s room topic?
Good morning, dear Yasemin. Good morning, dear Marc. I find it exceptionally fitting, once again, this room title today, because I had announced that I actually wouldn’t be able to follow you for the next few weeks, but I got hit hard yesterday, and I now have to prepare for my return journey too. And my basis for that is confidence. Not, mind you, not hope, but confidence. And I don’t know, I think I caught with half an ear that this is the topic of trust, favor. I’ll make a clear distinction again between confidence and belief. So I don’t believe in my recovery and a good outcome, but rather I’m confident, because I have a trust, and that’s grounded in having already experienced something comparable before. That’s the essential difference for me — when I say I believe in my recovery, versus when I say I’m confident that in a few weeks, hopefully, I’ll be able to move around completely normally again. And the basis for that is a trust that’s grounded in an experience of my own, how I behaved — that term also came up — how I behaved in the situation, and the reactions and dealing with this situation, which I’ve also brought to safety for myself. And that gives me this confidence to face the coming weeks positively, and I can only say, maybe you don’t need to have such points of comparison. But I’m grateful to have actually already suffered similar or equally severe injuries before, and again, I don’t believe in myself. I’m confident that in this situation too, I’ll be able to pull my head out of the noose again. So it’s crazy that of all days, this topic comes up on stage with you today. Thank you for listening, dear ones, and I’ll go back now, because I’ll probably have to expect quite a few phone calls in the next few minutes. Thank you for listening, and I wish you all the best and a wonderful day.
Yes wonderful, thank you so, so much, and get well soon, dear Jürgen, at this point, and maybe also again, because you raised the distinction between confidence and hope, in terms of the terminology, without further specifying hope — but it could be that, since you brought up the aspect of belief, a connection can be made here. That would be one aspect we could pick up, dear Marc. And on the other hand, maybe also the interesting question, does this trust actually need points of comparison, since this aspect of trust was raised again, or can I also have trust without having these points of comparison beforehand, or maybe both actually work, but then what makes the difference, in quotation marks, in the outcome, whether I have prior experiences I can connect to, or whether I have no prior experiences to connect to. Those are just a few thoughts I have on that, dear Marc, but you can also connect at other points, depending on what came up for you while listening.
First I’d also like to wish Jürgen a speedy recovery, and it was nice that he was briefly with us. I looked up the Duden dictionary again for help, and Jürgen mentioned the word trust. And yes, confidence isn’t just trust, but firm trust. So firm trust is much, much more than just trust. And the difference between hoping and firm trust, for me personally, would be — hoping is, it can, but it also might not. I can hope to meet someone, or I can hope to win the lottery. But hope would be too vague for me — if I hope things will get better, I’m also leaving everything to chance, which I can’t control at all. But firm trust, confidence in connection with firm trust, that gives me somehow a higher basis for action, a broader foundation, so to speak. There I’m not standing on sand, but already standing on concrete. And whether I need prior experience for that — I don’t know. We also had Dr. Johanna Dahm here before, and I think we can all draw on memories in our lives where we didn’t think we’d manage it. Those don’t have to be big things at all. It starts when I think of my…
…driving test. I don’t know if I’d pass it again today. It starts with my school graduation exam — I don’t know how I’d do on that exam today. Little things. And that’s part of it for me too, or that was a learning moment for me, that we can remember little things where we walked a path where we didn’t know how that path would turn out. And in hindsight, and we’ve had this so often too, that life is understood retrospectively, we always found the right answer and the right path for ourselves, even though before we walked that path we always thought, will this actually work out? And firm trust naturally helps you there — if I’d already had this awareness of the power of — well, if I’d already had this firm trust, then I wouldn’t have needed to be afraid of so many, many things at all, or would have gone through many situations much more relaxed, because through this firm trust I wouldn’t have perceived the situation as so terrible or overwhelming or overpowering or oversized.
Yes wonderful, thank you so, so much. Here the question arises for me too, to look again exactly at the terminology in this context, that “vertrauen” (to trust) basically has a prefix “ver-.” That means if we left out the prefix, we’d already be at the term “trauen,” which, if we look more closely, can also mean something like daring to do something, venturing to do something. And there we’re again on this level of action, so to speak, which can be opened up here again, in certain contexts connected with this activity, in quotation marks, or with passivity. So maybe also as a reminder — just by leaving out the prefix, what new possibilities open up too, to look at this term trust again, so to speak, as a component of daring. Marc, would you like to continue on that?
Yes, in this context something comes to mind again — you say trust, and my thoughts just drifted off, and I had to think back to school again, but that’s because I read a really, really great article this week where someone described — whether it’s really true that it happened that way, I don’t know, but it’s still a nice story. Einstein is said to have once been at school and written ten problems on the board. And nine of these ten problems were correct, and only one was wrong. The problem, the last problem, was ten times nine, and he wrote 91 on the board — whether consciously or unconsciously, and whether it’s true, is left open. But I find the story behind it incredibly great. The children, of course, laughed and mocked him, or there was of course a big uproar in the class, and Einstein is said to have then said, this is how we’ll always view it, we can solve nine out of ten things correctly, we always focus on the mistakes, see error culture, but whoever does nothing and doesn’t decide doesn’t move forward, and of course doesn’t make any mistakes either, and it’s better to make a mistake sometimes. I really, really liked that, once again, in terms of perspective.
Yes, thank you so much. And as you already said, you sometimes don’t know exactly whether these are actually true stories or maybe just anecdotes where various things are brought together. Let’s leave that aside for now, but this connection with the problems you just brought up, that exists in many other contexts too — that, for example, in trainings or something, you have four equations, for example, on the flip chart, and then you simply ask, what do you notice? And the interesting thing is that there are people who then see three correct ones and similar, and quite a lot who immediately recognize and identify the one wrong equation, so to speak, and address it too. And here we’re back at the brain topic, so to speak, in this context. You may remember that it always comes back to, for example, error detection and similar. That means we have two essential components that play a certain role for our brain, namely the aspect of existential security — that means I automatically need to keep checking that constantly to survive, and the second question we deal with is, does this improve my current situation? And in this context we tend, so to speak, always again — that’s also the explanation for why, among other reasons, we’re brain-wise wired to first perceive or see possible errors etc. more strongly, because we’re automatically steered by the brain in a search movement, always looking, is there some kind of threat or similar? And a wrong equation, for example, could somehow be connected to that too, in the sense of, well, what does that mean now? I’ve now identified what’s faulty, and made the corresponding connections here accordingly. That means we’re per se, by nature, oriented toward always, in quotation marks, focusing our attention much more strongly on what could threaten us, on what’s somehow negatively connoted in some way in an evaluation or similar, because it could have an effect on us. And the other aspects are of course also perceived, but, in quotation marks, simply checked off and you move on. And it’s exactly the same with this equation as in many other contexts too. That means our brain is always in a search movement, in quotation marks, and identifies everything that’s seen or recognized as problematic, in quotation marks, and could play a role regarding our existential security, and then regarding, what does answering this question bring me — and that’s why there’s always a shift of focus here, where it’s certainly also necessary to consciously perceive that on one hand and always readjust it too, quite consciously in self-regulation, so to speak, namely also to perceive the other equations, to stay with this example, and to bring them much more strongly into focus too, so as not to remain stuck, in quotation marks, only with wrong results or with, so to speak, negative things we perceive. And there we’re back again at these terms trust and daring. So I think it’s wonderful to take that as an example too. Do you have further thoughts on that, dear Marc?
Yes, so that this is viewed, let’s say, from many sides, I also thought about it or read up on it a bit more. Namely, confidence in world comparison on one hand, and confidence in the religious sense on the other, and what I found particularly exciting, that’s true, when I read it, I can only agree with it — I can’t back it up factually, but it makes sense to me. In world comparison of confidence, it’s said, or at least I read, that confidence in crisis, especially in Germany, is much, much lower among young people than, for example, among peers in Mexico, Nigeria, or Kenya. And I thought, hmm, why is that? Well, an explanation followed immediately. We live in prosperity, we’re a prosperous country. Even though prosperity is distributed unevenly, basically we’re doing well. I know there are also many people who aren’t doing so well. But compared to Kenya or Mexico, we’re doing well. And if that’s taken away from us, this prosperity could be at risk. We’ve had that topic before too — if something is taken away from me, that’s more unpleasant for me than if I have nothing and am first moving toward something, as might happen in India, for example. And I just found it exciting to read that confidence is thus evaluated differently and is also different everywhere around the world. And then, to smile at rather than laugh at, I also found an article in this context about confidence in religion amusing. The churches currently have so many people leaving, both the Protestant — I’m talking about Christian faith — and the Catholic church, and many people simply no longer believe in a resurrection, and the sentence in parentheses that made me smile was: the churches today are no longer the ones giving confidence, but rather need confidence themselves, because they themselves have fallen into distress.
Wonderful, thank you so, so much. And especially in this context of crisis as a term in world comparison, I find it exciting to bring up this reminder again too. We’ve already talked about how you can interpret crises as a situation, basically as an everyday situation. So not viewing crisis as an exception, but rather crisis — and this fits very well with the example you brought up — is basically something I experience. And I experience — so one and the same situation can be experienced by someone as a crisis, or not. And here we’re back at these prior experiences that Jürgen brought up as a topic — it depends on whether I have prior experiences in this context and accordingly certain routines are already open to me for action, so to speak for the possibility of action, or not. For someone, well, let me briefly summarize for those who weren’t in these rooms: we can basically assume that a crisis basically doesn’t represent an exceptional situation, but rather an everyday situation. We have numerous crisis situations, so to speak, spread throughout the day. But because we’ve quite naturally developed action routines for ourselves over time to deal with them — what do I do if someone else is parked in my spot? What do I do if I’ve left my keys at home? Then I somehow know what I need to do next to get back into my apartment or similar. Many everyday situations aren’t experienced as a crisis at all, because I can connect to prior experiences here. Whereas if I don’t have prior experiences in a context, in a certain context, in a certain situation — and the more challenging the situation appears to me, because it’s maybe completely detached from other prior experiences I had in other contexts, the greater, in quotation marks, I personally experience that situation as a crisis, while someone else who has already developed action routines for the same situation doesn’t perceive the same situation as a crisis at all. And as a classic example of that, we cited — imagine a company, for example in the automotive industry. And one company produces vehicles and doesn’t have the expectation that these vehicles have to be perfect when we bring them to market, but rather we expect, so to speak, feedback from customers, in order to then act accordingly and see what improvements need to be made. While another company relies on, so to speak, 100 percent quality, nothing may go wrong and so on, and doesn’t just produce the car, but runs comprehensive tests to make sure that when the car, as a product, so to speak the new model, is brought to market, everything runs smoothly and ideally no complaints or similar occur. So with the first company, which has already prepared for that — the processes in the background already run quite differently. That means they’re already prepared, process-wise, to receive feedback now and react to it. That means they’ve already implemented their process structure quite differently than the second company, which assumes they’re bringing a perfect product to market and everything will go well. And if a recall now has to be carried out, for example, because in both cases it turns out something isn’t right, then the first company will, with high probability, not experience the situation as a giant, because they’ve already made completely different preparations, implemented completely different processes to deal with this situation, while the second company might really get thrown for a loop first and now has to figure out how to deal with this and what to do in the concrete situation, and only now maybe starts adapting or implementing certain processes to be able to deal with the situation appropriately. And that’s a nice example that crisis has a lot to do with what prior experiences we have, what expectations we have, and how action routines have already been developed or not. And we can connect that as a nice example again here too, both with these young people you mentioned in Germany — we live in an affluent society, so confidence represents yet another component there, compared to crisis regions. That makes sense when you think about it, because people already have — they already have certain everyday situations and know very well, and here we’re back at action routines, how to deal with them, and accordingly experience that quite differently too, and have a different expression of confidence in everyday life than might be the case for us, because we live in prosperity and normally everything runs in an orderly fashion, and when a new situation comes along, that’s then experienced quite differently too, maybe even directly experienced as a crisis, and that also has an effect on this confidence component. And then to look at this second aspect in this context too, regarding actions and so on — what does that ultimately mean regarding trust, when we open up this trust component and say, trust also has something to do with whether I have prior experiences I can connect to. And then there’s also basic trust again, which we’ve often talked about in various contexts. Can we open up this differentiation here too, or look at what’s shared or different? And here we’re partly back at childhood relationships, where we’ve also already established that the relationships between the child and the caregivers — usually especially the parents, but also, for example, maybe daycare educators etc. while growing up, and then later teachers and so on and so forth. And these caregivers play a really big role regarding this basic trust and also this daring, venturing, and so on, and then also represent a basis or prerequisite for whether I then, regardless of whether I can connect to prior experiences here or not, on the basis of a basic trust that’s present, then also look at something with confidence, for example, or maybe look at something more critically, or up to experiencing situations more quickly as a crisis, for example. I’m really curious about that too, Marc, would you like to connect to the various points again?
Yes, there’s one point I’d particularly like to connect to. I always find it awkward to advertise for myself, so I’ll advertise now, watch out, an ad break, for Yasemin. And not simply to flatter her, but I remembered the book I once got from you, dear Yasemin, namely “Crisis Is What You Make of It.” And that book helped me a lot, and I’ve read it twice, and meanwhile my partner is reading it. And I mentioned earlier that this year I also faced the challenge that my company is changing, because an employee left, or is changing, not completely, but partly. That simply means 40 to 50 percent less revenue and less profit for me. And then, through the book “Crisis Is What You Make of It,” I also reevaluated old things. Namely, I had the experience, prior experience — I’m in sales and I do promotional materials, and of course I also called the big automotive corporations, said, let’s try to sell you something, and then learned that they have full-service agencies, I didn’t get anywhere there. But that had the fatal flaw that I never called on large companies again. And through this new restructuring, because I’m now developing my employee myself, I went back more myself into sales activities. And why I’m telling you this is that I’ve now talked to a company two weeks in a row that has 3,000 employees and makes over a billion in revenue. And the company has various subsidiaries, and I at least got as far as us being in dialogue. That was a completely new experience. Even a year ago I wouldn’t have called this company, precisely because of the old experience, the big company, automotive industry experience, that they all act the same. No, they don’t all act the same, and I’ve been in sales for so long now, and it was a new insight for me that the contact person at the company said to me, why shouldn’t we look at your offer? We’re not this big for nothing, and and and, and it’s important to us, and we can well imagine that we could also work together with you in certain areas. That’s not an order, that’s not a customer yet, but this experience — and you said this earlier, crisis — this crisis, which I still evaluated as a crisis at the beginning of the year, because my revenue was collapsing, because an employee is leaving, led me to the realization that there are still so many big companies I can approach, and that this judgment, this experience, just because I’ve had four bad experiences, doesn’t apply to all industries and all businesses, and it really does make sense to keep trying, and then we’d be back at confidence, to then have new experiences and reevaluate. And we tend — I don’t, no, not we, sorry, I want to get into that habit too — I also tend, once I’ve had an experience five times, to store that as a universally valid experience, and then never call a company again that makes a billion in revenue, but they don’t all react the same, and that’s nice, because those are opportunities, and opportunities are also being confident again.
Yes, great, thank you so, so much, and that also shows this relevance, that prior experiences, in quotation marks, can have positive effects on one hand, also regarding these actions that are then triggered — am I passive, am I active, do I change something or not, is it an initiator for a movement that takes place, meaning that I get moving, for example. And these prior experiences play a big role. And these prior experiences play a role in the sense that experiences aren’t only to be evaluated as “positive,” but negative experiences also play a really vehement role in this context regarding whether I get into action or not, for example. That means they’re stored, so to speak, and specifically stored emotionally, for example as a positive experience or as a negative experience, which consequently means that I, for example, become active or don’t become active, or look for new possibilities or don’t look for new possibilities and so on. And in that sense I always have to be aware here again that there are always different sides of the coin, so to speak, and that prior experiences can also certainly hinder me at one point or another, hinder me in taking action, for example, if I’ve had and stored negative experiences, then I’ll probably also keep my distance in one case or another, act differently and so on, and might not even realize, due to the generalization taking place, that there are further doors here too, which I maybe haven’t even explored yet, because I simply haven’t become active in that direction. And that’s also an important insight we can derive from this, to always view prior experiences neutrally too, in quotation marks. So there are experiences that are certainly helpful for us in certain contexts, but in other contexts the same experience, by the way, can also be a hindrance.
And in this context I’d like to pick up a question from Reza in the chat: is the negative determined by the person themselves, or is it determined by existing definitions in society? So regardless of whether we now talk about positive and negative evaluations, so to speak, based on prior experiences or not based on prior experiences — so first of all, looking at this evaluation track, positive/negative, we can say on one hand that it has something to do with an evaluation. So it’s really important that ultimately it’s also, for example, a subjective evaluation, where I store a connotation with it. So it’s an experience, for example, and I store that as positive or negative. But then we don’t just have the individual component, but of course also a societal component — that certain topics, for example, are taboo or addressed, or how a society looks at certain topics against the background of its own culture. And because we’re socialized into a society, beliefs etc. develop here too, which of course also play a role regarding whether I maybe adopt and take on certain things from outside without questioning them, partly because I’m not even aware of them, because I perceive them as a given, and they’re stored as positive or negative, in quotation marks, for example in the context of values. And in that sense we have both tracks here. They’re not to be viewed separately from each other, but rather stand in a reciprocal relationship to each other. And it also makes sense, in this consideration, to sharpen awareness in this direction accordingly, and to keep looking from various perspectives, in order to then be able to get back into self-efficacy through this way of looking at things, by being able to actively go into self-regulation myself. Marc, would you like to continue on this too?
Yes, very gladly. So, on one hand, I can only agree with you, I’d like to say for myself personally that, on the whole, I’d say I’m solely responsible for the evaluation, for the judgment. But I always ask myself, where does my evaluation actually come from — so from what information, from what interactions, which people do I surround myself with, who influences me, what do I read, what do I think and so on. But I make the decision, the evaluation, myself. And at the same time I have to have the courage to keep clearing out my storage, so to speak, and refill it and question it cleverly. And what I meant by refilling the storage — many things, well, there I also won’t come to a different answer even when questioning it. I just thought of an example — if I now know that if I run into a wall and it hurts, then it would of course be pretty stupid if I said, well okay, I’ll just run next to the wall very often, I’ll keep trying and trying, because at some point it won’t hurt anymore. Well, maybe at some point it won’t hurt anymore because I no longer notice it. But that’s what I mean by questioning, clever questioning — really, are there scientific approaches, so facts, not questioning emotionally and feeling-based, but is it really true, in my sales example, is it really true that if five big customers who make a billion in revenue don’t give me an order, that means I’ll never get an order from any big customer in the world? Is that universally valid? And if so, why is that? And could someone somewhere else think differently and say, for a collaboration, something completely different is important to me with you, dear Marc, and then doors open up again, and questioning that and coming to a new evaluation, that’s the biggest challenge for me, because I then also have to concede clearing out the storage I mentioned, in order to be able to refill it completely anew.
Yes, thank you so, so much, and maybe once more on the last point you raised, about clearing the storage — unfortunately that doesn’t work as flawlessly as with a PC, where I can hit reset, so to speak, and overwrite everything. Maybe as a reminder about the terminology we often use — also in the analogy from brain research, we know that experiences we’ve had etc. aren’t deleted, so to speak. But we can, for example, overlay experiences we’ve had, that we’ve stored as positive or negative, with new experiences accordingly. That means it’s not completely deleted, it remains. But if, for example, we had a traumatic experience and make sure that we now cover comparable situations with positive experiences, then we can, so to speak, if you think of it in stages, overlay this first traumatic experience through these positive experiences. And that of course has a corresponding impact. That means, the more positive experiences I overlay onto a previously maybe traumatic or negative experience I’ve had, the higher the probability of neutralizing that again, so to speak, to a certain degree. That doesn’t rule out, however, and that’s where we’re now at these limits again where we run into this — that means I can consciously and deliberately take over this self-regulation to get into self-efficacy here. However, in certain situations it’s not excluded that, because this basic experience, this traumatic experience, is stored, it’s possible that through some components from outside, it gets triggered, that this traumatic experience suddenly “comes through” again and overlays the other one again. Nevertheless, I have the possibility, through self-efficacy, to establish a neutralization of these negative experiences I’ve had with lots of positive experiences that I overlay. And if it then comes to that situation, a kind of flashback, you’d choose that term right now in this traumatic context, then I can look again to counteract this, in quotation marks, and then overlay these positive experiences again. That means this can create a kind of cycle, possibly, at this point too. There are a lot of components involved. Even if we now briefly go back to these terms, we had confidence and hope, and with the aspect of confidence there was also something like, do you have prior experiences, yes or no — is that a basic prerequisite? You could of course say, with confidence you could maybe think in the direction of, well, I’ve possibly already had prior experiences that I rely on, and against this background then approach a new situation with confidence, for example, or a comparable situation. Whereas with hope, there’s maybe, to some extent, this component too, of saying, well, I don’t know exactly right now, but I have basic trust, or the trust, that it’ll turn out fine in quotation marks, or that it’ll go well or similar. And maybe you could make this differentiation, if you make a differentiation at all, by saying it has to do with prior experiences, the presence of prior experiences, and on the other hand this component of trust or basic trust, which is based on whether prior experiences are present, or on the basis that a basic trust is there that’s developed through the relationship level and so on. Something like, do I trust myself to do certain things, even if I maybe have no prior experiences in this specific context, simply going a bit into hope and not having reference points a hundred percent at this point. But because I’ve had other experiences, namely those of basic trust, again with confidence and not just hope, but at the same time the component of confidence also comes back in here too. That might also be an aspect one could open up here. I’ll briefly look through the chat now, to pick up the other comments, and then we can see whether we want to connect again at one point or another before we move into the closing round for today.
Tobias wrote regarding the church, that it’s not surprising that churches become empty if the message isn’t preached clearly. Where should confidence and hope come from? Churches that, instead of teaching the central message of the Bible, rather play moral apostles don’t convey confidence and hope. And Matthias wrote, that brings me to the topic of beliefs, which especially in crises can and should often be questioned, but not only then.
Yes, absolutely. And that always requires that we actively engage with beliefs in some form too. We can do that because we’re made aware of it, or because we quite consciously keep picking up certain things in reflection, so to speak, and looking. Especially the things that are taken for granted — that’s really the crux with beliefs, they’re neither positive nor negative, but they can also have both positive and negative effects again in different contexts. So one and the same belief can have a positive or negative effect in a certain context, meaning it either supports me or hinders me in a certain situation. And then also, because they’re anchored as beliefs, in quotation marks, they’re so self-evident to us that we don’t immediately recognize them per se, if we don’t look at them on a meta-level through reflection etc., or also get support from outside, in order to be able to recognize such beliefs, especially with patterns of behavior or similar, and be able to do something about it accordingly. The decision then lies with each individual themselves, always.
And Sabine wrote, couldn’t join today, since we’re rushing around here and are, full of confidence, on our way to Frankfurt, to welcome our son back after a year, and full of hope for a wonderful reunion. Thank you all, and have a great day.
Yes, thank you too, dear Sabine, for sharing. I find it great that this terminology is brought in right away here too. Wonderful. Marc, would you like to connect once more at one point or another and then move directly into the closing round?
Exactly. There’s one point that’s really, really important to me, that I really care about. You just said something, or in the chat, that a message also has to be preached clearly. I’d say, that would be nice if it were that way. But what’s alarming is that a message doesn’t necessarily have to be preached clearly and feasibly. Because if I now go into the political sphere, and away from the business sphere, I come to the new term convenience, and that there are also people who, out of convenience, give up responsibility, give up responsibility. You can also see that messages that aren’t clear at all, that aren’t sensible at all, that are just put out there, are simply accepted, because then I don’t have to deal with it, and as a business owner I have to deal with my company, otherwise at some point I won’t have one anymore, but as a citizen I still have the possibility to give up responsibility, maybe to be confident, and then you see again, with education, and then we see again what we’ve already established so often, that the whole thing is so complex, and that one answer, confidence in the form of a company, or confidence in the form of us, can have completely different context or completely different results in a different context, and that’s what makes the whole thing so exciting and interesting and also challenging. I wish you all a wonderful start to the weekend.
Yes wonderful, thank you so, so much. And let it be noted at this point, well, dear Sabine, I can’t help it, we ended up back at the education topic again, in quotation marks. However, this education topic isn’t the topic that occupies us the most or anything, but we always build various bridges to different topics, and education just keeps proving itself, again and again, in many contexts, as the “basis,” in quotation marks, which has a very particular relevance at this point too, and that’s why this bridge keeps being built in the rooms too. And especially the things we’ve discussed today, and also your closing remarks — I’d like to pick up this example again too, which we’ve also had in other contexts. So, well, do I get into activity, so to speak, or do I lean back? And especially with all these examples we’ve also picked up on the societal and political level over the past days — that fits wonderfully into this context too, and also regarding myself individually, always making this decision. So trust is one thing, to have confidence, for example, that I can solve the challenges or similar, connected to and based on prior experiences, for example. But also in the context of basic trust, and then, if we pick up this activity again with action, whether we look at beliefs, or whether we look at various political developments, whether we look at professional developments, whether we pick up personal developments in the individual sphere — at all these points I can always either lean back against the background of a trust and the confidence and hope I have, or I can get into activity. I just need to be aware of one thing, and that’s the example I’d like to connect here again, so to speak pick up again, namely this example with the weeds in the garden. The weeds in my garden won’t go away on their own just because I have confidence and hope that they’ll disappear, in quotation marks, but it always needs a kind of balance regarding activity or passivity too. You can establish that in a certain balance, however it suits you personally, again and again. That means we’re back in this field, this field of tension, you could also say. When do I become active? When am I passive and maybe just observe? And my weeds in the garden won’t resolve themselves on their own just because I have confidence and hope, in quotation marks, but at many points it also requires taking responsibility, not giving it up, but taking it on, in order to also make my own personal contribution at one point or another. With the garden it’s much easier, because it concerns my garden, I can make my own decision. At other points it might be that I often feel like I can’t make such a big contribution here. But every single contribution counts, and every single contribution, viewed in sum, ultimately also has an effect, when we look at the societal level. So we have various components and examples here that we can open up, that might illustrate this once more. That means it always makes sense to reflect on the situations, the contexts, on one hand, to juggle thoughts, so to speak, like we do here in the Deep Talk rooms too, in order to then make decisions for yourself again, always new decisions, adapted decisions, or also to stick with a decision I made before, because it’s confirmed for me again. Those are the various variants we can open up here, and there we’re back at the term decision. That means making a decision is always a term we pick up here too. That means making decisions also plays a role in this context, and not making a decision — we’ve had that before too — is, by the way, also a decision ultimately. Namely, for example, doing nothing also has a corresponding effect. And to always keep that in mind too.
Yes, I think really great, different perspectives came together today. So thank you so, so much for these examples and perspectives we were able to open up together today. It was really inspiring, and I’d like to invite you to simply let it resonate. And tomorrow we’ll continue with our author’s breakfast, which I’m already looking forward to, with Heike Wolfangel, namely “Love Builds Careers.” How to build, easily and powerfully, the career you’ve always wanted, even if you don’t yet know where your journey should lead. There we want to look at what role love, in quotation marks, plays in certain contexts, and open up such components here too, also looking again at the professional context. I’m really curious about this exchange that will take place tomorrow, and in that sense you’re very, very warmly invited to join, on one hand to listen and maybe take away a few impulses, and also to gladly use the opportunity, after the author’s breakfast, where we’ll first be in interview style with Heike, so to speak, and in exchange, you’ll also have the opportunity again to enter the interaction, meaning to also contribute yourselves again with thoughts or questions you have, which you can then formulate toward Heike. In that sense, I’m looking forward to welcoming you tomorrow morning under the roof of the bestselling author, and it starts again at 8 o’clock as always. I wish you all a wonderful day, whatever you have planned, and say see you tomorrow. Ciao!
