Brain Food for Pioneering Spirits: To what extent do courage and willingness to take risks have something to do with gaining insight? That’s the question we explore in Room #840 of the Deep Talk Club, under our overarching theme of “Insight (and gaining it),” with special guest Patrik Wenke, Germany’s first “Happyologist,” who is preparing for a 200km ultramarathon in Bhutan. Listen in on the examples that came up and the perspectives that emerged in dialogue…
Note: This session was recorded live in German as part of the Deep Talk Club, so the video above is German-language audio only. What follows is an English translation of the conversation, lightly edited for readability — the back-and-forth between the moderator and participants is preserved, but the original timestamps and speaker names have been left out.
I’d like to give you all a very official welcome this morning, and especially Patrik Wenke, because together with him we’re looking at the topic of insight and courage to take risks today. He’s our guest for today’s expert talk. Patrik Wenke is Germany’s first “Happyologist,” a happiness expert and the inventor of the happiness app called “Happiness to Go.” He loves sharing happiness as often as he can. And as a communication trainer he’s an optimist by birth, and radiates thoughts of happiness with positive lightness. Starting on May 26, 2023, he’ll be on tour following the traces of happiness. The goal: 200 kilometers in Bhutan, an ultramarathon along the Himalayas. What’s behind this, and to what extent courage and willingness to take risks have something to do with our current overarching theme of gaining insight, that’s what we’ll talk about today, and in that spirit I’d like to warmly welcome you, Patrik. Lovely to have you here, and I’m really, really curious where this all leads us today, in connection with insight and courage to take risks, in relation to this Bhutan challenge awaiting you, and what insights we’ll generate from the room today especially.
Good morning, Yasemin, and good morning to all the listeners. Lovely that we get to talk again.
Yes, absolutely. I’m really looking forward to it too. And yes, we made an interesting connection, your upcoming journey. Maybe you’d like to tell us a bit about it first. What’s actually concretely behind it, and how did it come about, dear Patrik?
Well, that’s how life goes — it throws you a few chunks and you have to pick them up. And courage is part of that too. Courage also means picking things up, maybe walking a bit toward happiness instead of always waiting for something to happen. And about a year ago I was at a charity event, for an event called “Brave Children.” It was an event for sponsors, and I was invited too. I was sitting at the table next to a really interesting table, the athletes’ table. Reiner Calmund was there, Joey Kelly was there, real sports powerhouses, real characters, real ultramarathon runners. Among them a very well-known ultramarathon runner, Sascha Gramm from Hesse. And you get to talking in the evening, and then Sascha mentioned offhand, well, next May I’m running the ultramarathon in Bhutan in the Himalayas. And I said, man, Sascha, you know Bhutan is the happiest country in the world, right? You’re talking to a Happyologist right now. Do you need someone to watch your suitcase? Do you need someone to watch your backpack? And he said, no, I don’t need that, but ask the organizer if there’s still a spot. And I said, well, give me the phone number. How many kilometers is it? And he said, well, that’s 200 kilometers at 3,500 meters altitude, in six stages. And I laughed so hard, and said, Sascha, do you know what I just understood? I understood 200 kilometers over six stages at 3,500 meters altitude. And he said, yes, that’s what I said. And I said, wow, I can’t manage that. I’m a casual runner, I run maybe 1,000 kilometers a year. But then I got curious — when the “why” is big enough, it becomes somehow bearable. So I said to him, listen, we’ve still got almost a year, is it actually doable? Could I train for it? And he said, best to call the organizer. So I called the organizer. That was a really funny conversation. I said, listen, I’m a Happyologist, I absolutely have to go to Bhutan. He laughed his head off at first. And then he said, well, if you’ve already run a marathon before, and if you have the fitness, and if you train diligently, you can manage it. Because the good thing is, there’s no timeout, no disqualification if you exceed the time limit. And at some point he said, okay, let’s just try it. And now I’ve actually signed up, and now I have to see it through. He just said, if you arrive later, you’ll have less recovery time, and you’ll need it. It’s a real challenge, especially at altitude. And I said, I’ll take the risk, because the “why” — traveling to Bhutan — is bigger. And then I’ll manage it too.
I find that totally crazy. “Verrückt” is maybe the right word for it — really, with this wordplay on the German word for crazy, moved [ver-rückt] away from the pack. Amazing. And yes, you just said, when the “why” is big enough, it becomes bearable. Maybe you’d like to look at that more closely and tell us something about that, dear Patrik.
Definitely. You said it exactly right, “ver-rückt,” moved away, moved away from the crowd — that’s the exact definition. Well, I decided to just go through with it. I was simply curious. It’s obvious a Happyologist has to travel to Bhutan at some point. And when this opportunity arises through this offhand comment, this chance encounter, that’s more than a sign, and you have to grab it. At the end of our lives we don’t regret the mistakes we made, but the missed opportunities. And this is definitely an opportunity. I’m 54 years old now. I don’t know, in ten years I won’t be able to manage this anymore. So this is the opportunity now. And then it got interesting. I’ve been training for nine months now. I basically run a marathon a week. That means either four times ten kilometers, or twice 20. I did take two weeks off once because I had a minor injury to my left foot. But I’m confident, I’m well trained, and preparation also plays a big role. You can’t go into this naively and say, I’ll just do it. It’s definitely a real challenge. But what’s interesting is what this has to do with the “why.” Three weeks ago, another chance encounter — I thought, if I’m already running 200 kilometers, and that’s super exhausting, then it should be for some good cause, it should make some kind of sense, even more sense than just for myself. And you know, Yasemin, I’m an ambassador for ICH, the International Children’s Health Organization, and I called the president and said, Dr. Kindermann, how’s it going, have you ever done a charity run before, do you have experience with that? Because I’m now running 200 kilometers in Bhutan, and I’d like to use that so that ICH benefits from it. And he said, that’s a great idea, we’ve done that before, we had a charity run at the Great Wall of China once, but Bhutan is of course huge. He was really happy for me. And then the idea came up that we’d collect 50 euros per kilometer. That means you can buy a kilometer from me, so to speak, that I’ll run for you. And if a company books 20 kilometers, so 1,000 euros, then I thought, the company gets a logo — they can send me a logo, and I’ll put that logo on a banner, and I’ll show that banner at the finish line. And that was, as I said, three weeks ago. And we’ve already collected 7,100 euros in donations. There were four companies alone that immediately signed up wanting a logo. And then it got really crazy, Yasemin — I said, you know what, this goes directly to ICH, it gets donated directly there, you get a donation receipt directly there too, I have no connection to that at all. And then I said, whoever tells me they’ve donated, I’ll enter them into my personal Excel list. So now I have an Excel list with 200 kilometers, and behind each kilometer the name gets entered, and I’ll carry this Excel list with me, so to speak, for all 200 kilometers, and I’ll give it, at the finish, at Tiger’s Nest — that’s the most famous monastery right on the Himalayas — to the monk, and we’ll do something together with it. Maybe we’ll bury it, burn it, whatever. There’ll definitely be good karma points, and it’s really funny, and yes, as I said, 7,100 euros has already been collected, and by the way I told the president — because ICH is international — I said, I have one condition. I want it to have something to do with children, so a children’s charity, but I want the money to stay in Germany, because I think we have enough to do here in Germany. And that’s why this Bhutan project is a pure children’s charity project for children in need in Germany. And I’ve already found three people, even along the way in the last few days — for example a rainbow house, that’s a children’s hospice, they’re already getting 1,000 euros from me, so that it really stays here in Germany.
Yes, wonderful, thank you so much. And that’s also the background for why we pinned this link about us this morning, so linked it. Anyone who thinks this is cool, who wants to support this, who wants to support the idea and also do something good at the same time, is of course warmly invited via this link. All the information you need is on this page via this link, right down to the bank details, everything’s readable on this page, so to speak. And that’s why we linked it this morning. And I find it really fascinating, how one thing — you used the word chance, but there’s no such thing as chance, things just happen to fall to us, how one thing leads to another once a decision has actually been made. But now, I want to follow up briefly — this courage to take risks, to what extent does this aspect of courage even take to make such a decision in the first place?
Well, Yasemin, this is of course a risky journey. I mean, most listeners know my past history. I had a stroke on 2/2/2015. And well, it went well, I was in rehab. And I still remember today, the physiotherapist Michael back then — I was completely desperate. I couldn’t walk at all anymore, I was paralyzed on the left side, and I was basically hanging on this treadmill and could only move centimeter by centimeter, holding onto this bar with my right arm. That was really quite a terrifying moment for me. That was the biggest defeat of my life. And then, full of fear, I told the physiotherapist, I’m so afraid of never becoming what I used to be again. And I used to be an athlete before too. And then Michael said the right words at the right time. He said, Patrik, I promise you, you’ll be better than before. We’ll get through this. We’ll go through this together. And these words, looking back now, were the greatest gift, because they gave me confidence, and also the courage to tackle things. If you think about it, stroke on 2/2/2015, paralyzed on the left side, and now in May 2023, a 200km ultramarathon. Those are worlds apart. And honestly, I’m grateful for every kilometer and every pain I’ll very likely experience too, because I can walk. So gratitude beats everything. Gratitude beats risk, gratitude beats fear. And sometimes you also have to give a bit toward happiness. So courage opens the door to happiness. And yes, it’s a courageous decision to do this. But it’s also my responsibility to do it. It’s a gift I’ll accept. And the lovely thing is, I talked to the organizer and said, you know, I’m a Happyologist. As I said, he laughed his head off. And then I said to him, also offhand, hey Stefan, how does it look, you must have contacts in Bhutan, right? They have a happiness minister there, Ha Vinh Tho. Don’t you have the possibility, could I maybe get an interview appointment? Because now, since I’m already going to be in Bhutan, there’s a happiness minister there, there’s the Gross National Happiness concept — do you have contacts? And he said, oh, I know all of them there. And now I’m actually — I’m arriving two days beforehand, before the run starts, and I’m meeting with Lama Namgay Tenzin, for example, or I’m meeting with His Excellency Sonam Topgay, that’s the person who wrote Bhutan’s constitution. And I’m even meeting the prime minister, who basically co-developed Gross National Happiness. And yes, you can’t make this stuff up. It’s really such a concentrated situation of thrown-out coincidences that you have to grab. I’d be crazy not to grab that.
Yes, wonderful. And I find this really fascinating too — you first made the decision to do this run, and then made this connection with the charity too. And I can well imagine that, especially with 200 kilometers, that’s really insane, and then the altitude on top of that and so on — of course it requires quite a bit of training, but it’ll still be challenging. And what role does it play that you’ve also made this connection for yourself — when moments of doubt come, when moments of physical exhaustion or something like that come up. What do you think, in what context, or what role, does this connection you’ve made here play, connecting the whole thing with a good cause and purpose too?
Well, that’s of course the big “why.” I’ll say it like this, I’m basically running to collect 10,000 euros in donations for children in need in Germany. That doesn’t allow for failure. It’s that simple. The second thing, and that’s the biggest chunk, is the point of gratitude. Gratitude that I even have the opportunity to do this at all, after the experience of 2/2/2015. And this combination will ensure that you simply run full of gratitude and don’t care what’s on the left or right, pain or whatever else comes up. And if you look, this tour has been happening for nine years now, except now with Covid, they had a break. But on average that’s always over 30 kilometers per day. So there’s the first stage, 31 kilometers, the second 29, then 28, and then there’s basically a fourth stage that’s 38, the fifth stage is 54 kilometers, and the sixth stage is only 15 kilometers, but very steep and very uphill, because that goes basically to Tiger’s Nest. And what was interesting was, I read a blog report from a participant who took part four years ago, and she described it over 16 pages, and after those 16 pages I could have started running immediately, because there was so much emotion in it. There’s one thing I’m really looking forward to — on the fourth day, after 92 kilometers, it’s the young monks’ wish to play a football match with the runners at 3,600 meters altitude. So, you can imagine, the runners have just done 92 kilometers, and are supposed to play a football match. And then the organizer said, out of respect and appreciation for the people and the country, we want every runner to take part. And I got goosebumps when the organizer wrote that. I thought, wow, what an attitude, what a great mindset. And if I can’t run anymore, I’ll go in goal, but I’ll take part. And especially when you then experience this football match, and these young monks — imagine, suddenly a group of 50 runners comes along and plays football with you. That’s such an incredible emotional moment, and I think that’ll carry me there. Experiencing this moment will carry me through the first 92 kilometers. And after that it continues for another 108 kilometers. And what’s interesting is that after the fifth stage, after 54 kilometers on the fifth stage, the blogger wrote back then, that’s the moment — whoever’s made it through these 54 kilometers of the fifth stage, so basically only has 15 kilometers left ahead of them, knows they’re going to make it, that they’ll manage it. And that evening there was a campfire evening, and she said the emotions at this campfire evening were indescribable. People lay in each other’s arms crying. And I think I’ll keep that moment in my head the whole time, and when I’m right on the verge of maybe giving up, or when I can’t go on anymore, I’ll keep running for that moment.
Yes, so beautifully put. And I’d like to make the connection to today’s room topic again, so to speak, “insight and courage to take risks.” To what extent would you say already, even in the course of the preparations and so on, that courage to take risks also has something to do with insight?
Well, we all have our experiences, but with every courageous decision you keep gaining further experience. That means, you have this classic comfort zone, and if you achieve something, or don’t achieve something, with a courageous decision outside the comfort zone, the comfort zone will definitely expand. That means, and that’s also the insight — the more courageous decisions you make, the more insights you have. And I don’t know who said it, I heard it somewhere at some point, you should train this courage muscle, and then this courage muscle grows. And courage is also about taking on a leadership role, leading yourself. And yes, that’s important. I don’t know who said it, the future is made of courage. If you don’t make courageous decisions, if you don’t want to change anything, then you don’t have a future either. So courage is so important. Courage is so important. And I once said in an interview on Hessischer Rundfunk, courage — “Mut” in German — is an anagram, and simply means “doing and taking action.” And sometimes it’s important not to overthink too much, but to simply act. Just get started and do it. And then you’ll know whether it works or not. But not deciding ultimately means standstill. And that doesn’t move any of us forward, and least of all ourselves.
Yes, thank you so much, and courage to decide, or courageous decisions, yes, they have something to do with insight. That may be so. Now some of you might think, well, but not every courageous decision leads to a, in quotes, positive insight. It could be that some insights are painful too, maybe some expectations don’t get fulfilled, looking back on it afterward, that maybe some things go wrong too. And you brought up the aspect of gratitude again, and I’d like to pick that up in this context. So courageous decisions have something to do with insights, regardless of whether it’s positive, negative, painful, filled with joy, or similar. What role does this aspect of gratitude play in this context?
Well, I think the aspect of gratitude carries the biggest weight. Not every insight has to be positive, essentially. An insight is an insight. So I don’t always have to strive for things to succeed, because if they succeed, that’s okay, I’m happy about it. But if they don’t succeed, I still learn the insight. And sometimes the learned insight is even much stronger in hindsight. And I remember, a mentor once told me, the desire to win should always be stronger than the fear of losing. And that’s why making courageous decisions, trying to make it work, and if it doesn’t work, then you have insight. That means you always win, no matter what. Either you achieved it, or you have an insight. You always win.
Yes, and in this context I find another aspect important too — looking at it and reflecting again, is it actually about this goal, this goal-setting and goal achievement, or isn’t it much more relevant, the experiences, the insights, and so on, that we gain along the way there? So we might have a goal in mind first, of course, because it’s also important, to even get moving in the first place, and this “why,” which plays an important role here. But also, distinguishing again here, is it actually the goal at the end, this achieving of the goal? Or is it what defines this path toward the goal? So where do insights actually arise?
That’s a really lovely question, Yasemin. Definitely, the insights are the path. So the goal is not — well, it’s nice to have a goal, because that tells you the direction, you know where you’re headed. And you have milestones, sub-goals, but it’s the path. And let’s see if I manage it or not, I’m not putting any pressure on myself here. I don’t have the ambition — I mean, these are all 50 seasoned ultramarathon runners — I don’t have the ambition to place in the top ten. I just don’t want to come last. And I’ll simply walk my own path. And if I can’t run anymore, I’ll walk. And if I can’t walk anymore, I’ll crawl, but the main thing is forward. And I’ll simply give my best. And once I’ve decided for myself to give my best, then even the goal doesn’t matter. Of course I’d like to reach the goal, and that’s a wish too, of course. But even in the case, what’s the worst thing that could happen? I wouldn’t reach the goal. But I’d have already done the interviews with the happiness ministers beforehand. I’d have gained insights from that situation. I’d have found out for myself that maybe I don’t manage the ultramarathon after all. But life isn’t negative because of that, just because I didn’t manage it. But again, I’ll tackle it, but the path is definitely the goal. I’m in Bhutan, I’m in the happiest country in the world. I’ll meet incredibly wonderful people. I’ll meet the runners. The organizer seems really nice, I’m really looking forward to meeting him. It’ll simply be a lovely time, no matter how it works out afterward, or doesn’t work out. The path is definitely the goal.
Oh, you put that so wonderfully. And yes, I think we can really feel the emotion behind it — you really convey that so beautifully. And this “why” is really, really intensely palpable there. I find that so wonderful. Yes, I’d like to open the hand signals in a moment. But first, a quick question to you, dear Patrik — we’ve touched on various aspects. Is there anything else you’d like to add, to close, before we open the hand signals and give our audience the opportunity to step into interaction with us here too?
Well, the question is always, what’s opposed to courage, basically? It’s always fear. And people always have this typical feeling of needing security. But the problem is, if you have this feeling of security, security is actually only an illusion. Because with security, there’s no development. With security, there’s no unfolding, and with security there’s also no freedom. And that’s why I simply wish everyone would be more courageous, and move away from fear and away from security, and simply make courageous decisions, because that’s ultimately what makes up life. And that’s what I wish everyone, really. And I’m glad I decided to do this. And you know yourself, I’m your Happyologist, Yasemin, and a reader of my book once wrote to me, you know, the word YOLO is hidden inside the word “Happyologe” [in German]. And I said, oh, I didn’t even know that. And actually, in the word Happyologe, YOLO is in there. And YOLO means “You Only Live Once.” And that’s why, yes, seize the opportunity of this life of yours and make the best of it.
Yes, wonderful, thank you so much. What a lovely saying, “You Only Live Once.” As true as it is, and it maybe puts one thing or another back into perspective in our minds too, or really directs our attention to it again and makes us conscious of it again. And wonderful, dear Patrik, thank you so much for this wonderful start to the morning together, on the room topic of insight and courage to take risks, and with that I’d like to open the hand signals now, to see who’d like to join and step into the interaction here. What do you think about what Patrik’s doing here? How does that connect for you with insight and courage to take risks? What are maybe aha-moments you’re taking from what he’s just shared? Or of course you can bring in an example from your own life story too, that fits well with this room topic of insight and courage to take risks, to open up further perspectives here too, and add to it. So you’re all very, very warmly invited to now expand our twosome, our dialogue, so to speak, in the spirit of the reflection space, and step into conversation with us. And another quick reminder, the room continues to be recorded. Anyone who joins automatically agrees to that, and that the whole thing will be published accordingly. We have three small room rules. One is a profile photo where you’re clearly recognizable, then first and last name, and at least one sentence in your bio. Anyone who, for whatever reason, doesn’t want to do that, can of course use the chat, and at the same time I’m of course glad if some of you join, to expand our perspectives on the whole thing here too, and really step into dialogue with us, together with Patrik. And let me look into the chat again briefly, dear Patrik. Alexander wrote, for example, good morning, I can really relate to Patrik. If I had the time, I’d run along too. I wish you lots of fun and success, what a great attitude, you’ll manage it. I find this aspect of time relevant here too. It came to me impulsively earlier too, this — yes, with a lot of things we often have the feeling, well, I don’t have time for that, or similar. Maybe we want to open up this time component again too. Patrik, how do you actually manage to fit this into your time?
Well, you have to set priorities in your life. And this was, through this whole chance situation, the top priority. And it’s not endless days, ultimately it’s six running days, two days of travel beforehand, and one day afterward. So that’s nine days, which I think is manageable. And since I’ve known about this for a year now, I planned accordingly. And if you want to do something, then planning and setting priorities is the most important thing. And then you have to decide for yourself, in your life, what has the highest priority. And for me, that actually had the highest priority.
Yes, thank you so much. I think this setting of priorities plays a really important role here too. If you look at it, it sounds extensive and such at first. That means, there’s a lot, a lot of time, in quotes, in this training, in this preparation time, less so the stay itself afterward. And if I hear this now, nine days total on site, that’s similar or comparable to planning a vacation or something. Almost like a short trip, so to speak, not even a longer vacation in that sense. That means the time invested or spent here is basically more in this context of training preparation, building up fitness, and so on, and not even in connection with the total days you’re actually there on site. And that can really be planned quite well here. However, we very often tend, in quotes, to push this aspect of time, so to speak, in many contexts, whether that’s a marathon run or something else, into this postponing, in quotes. And before I forget, maybe just a quick side note — we had an online event yesterday, and there I picked up on this aspect too, because it’s often the case, well, I would have loved to come, but timing didn’t work out, so people stay away, in quotes, or don’t even book in the first place. So I brought in the component of saying, hey, this whole thing gets recorded, there are no excuses. Anyone who can’t join has the option of watching the recording afterward. And we’re realizing that too, of course, it gives us time today still, over the course of the day this will be sent accordingly to those who’d booked a ticket and couldn’t join yesterday. I actually find it great, by the way, that you still made it happen for yourselves. You’ll get a message accordingly with a link and everything, so you’ll have access to the recording too. And Patrik, back to you — how often do we postpone things, delay things, and in doing so forget this — and here we’re back at this saying you brought up earlier, “you only live once.” We don’t even know whether I can still implement it tomorrow. What do you think about that?
I’ve had a lot of really great mentors in my life. And one always said, you don’t have a second life in the trunk. So use this first one now. And that’s such a nice image, but it’s always in my head whenever I’m somehow postponing something or want to postpone it. And how often do we know this, when you’ve set yourself something and you have a running plan, and then, oh come on, it’s raining now. No, a running plan is a running plan and it stands. And this running plan is then in the calendar too, and the calendar gets worked through. And if it says “run” there, it doesn’t say “run only in nice weather,” it says “run.” And then you have to run, no matter the weather. And how often do people tell me, yes, I’d love to read a book, but I don’t have time for it. Then the priority list isn’t high enough, because you can read a book, namely by saying, I read one chapter every day. And reading one chapter every day means that after 10, 15 days you’ve read a book. And then the question is, well, but I can’t manage that, my day is completely packed. Then you have to get up half an hour earlier. And that’s always so easy to say, but that has to do with consequence and with real will. If you really want something, you find ways. And if you really don’t want something, you find excuses.
Yes, absolutely. We just talked about this yesterday with Mona Tenjo, who’s also the co-host and initiator of this club, so to speak, and somehow we got to the room numbers, and now we’re at, today is Room 840, and she said, that’s really something, I mean soon it won’t be three digits anymore but four digits, it won’t even take that long — you really have to let that sink in. And yes, in everyday life, in quotes, we always have these moments where we postpone things, put them off, say we can do it tomorrow, well aware, rationally speaking, who knows if there’ll even be a tomorrow. And it always seems so far away, which is also a protective function of the brain. So on one hand it’s quite good that we don’t constantly deal with this ending, so to speak, and at the same time it’s all the more important, and maybe especially incisive experiences like a stroke, which you just mentioned, Patrik, or other things, or even a loss in the family in between, or something, or from an acquaintance, or something, where we then always pause briefly again and really realize that too. And so I find such moments really valuable too, or to view as a gift, so to speak. Especially when something afterward has maybe gone well too, like in your case with the stroke, in the sense that you were able to recover so largely, and can continue on. That we can quite consciously and deliberately keep this in mind, one thing or another, to rethink one thing or another here too, do things differently. Because time is something we, each of us gets a certain lifetime, so to speak, given at birth. None of us knows how long this time is, and when this time runs out. And that’s really a gift. And especially time is something we can’t get back. That means, from our overall lifespan, viewed as a whole, every day we let pass with some unimportant things, irrelevant things for us, whatever that is in your case — everyone can judge and evaluate that very individually. But every moment we let slip by can’t be recovered either, in quotes. So in that sense it’s also gifted, or wasted, time. Would you like to say something else about that, Patrik?
Ultimately that has a lot to do with gratitude. I’ll say it like this, there are so many people who, I don’t know, really have health difficulties, who maybe sit in a wheelchair, or who have other illnesses, or who can’t do anything anymore. And it’s unfair, even just to those people, to not use your own potential even though you have it. And that’s always helped me, in phases where at some point I also didn’t feel like running, to say, my goodness, be grateful that you can run. What would a lot of people do right now to be able to run, who maybe can’t run? And that’s moved me again, to say the right words to my own inner laziness again, and then get running. The nice thing is, once you’ve started running, your inner laziness doesn’t have anything left to complain about. So once you’ve started running, you’re in flow. And the insight when running too, for example, is that you’re really with yourself. You know my book “Rendezvous With Your Happiness,” and there’s a chapter that says you should have a rendezvous with yourself once a month. When running, I now have a rendezvous with myself almost daily, because I’ve also stopped listening to music while running — instead, while running I engage with myself. So while running I’m really completely with myself, and I clarify my things — my priority lists, my goals, my visions, what I want, what I don’t want, what makes me happy, what doesn’t make me happy. And these are things, the more often you have this rendezvous with yourself, the clearer you become about your life. And that’s why every run means clarity. And this doesn’t have to be running, if someone doesn’t want to run, it can be a walk too, but every time you go out of the house and are alone, engaged with yourself, you become clearer and clearer within yourself. And you just have to see that for yourself. It’s a gift.
Yes, absolutely. And you brought up this aspect earlier too — often it’s fear that stands in the way of courage, so to speak, against the background that we need a feeling of security. And a feeling of security is an illusion, that’s how you put it. That means, basically, fear also has a protective function, evolutionarily speaking. But today we don’t have a saber-tooth tiger standing at the door anymore, basically. That means, in a lot of places we’re actually allowed to check the fear we feel, whether it’s even justified at all. That doesn’t mean there aren’t also situations where it might even be reckless to go into this risk area. But quite often it’s the case that we get led astray here through our emotions and feelings, so to speak, and that it’s totally unfounded once you look at it more closely, and always, against this background, going into this reflection too, and possibly making decisions. That’s a very analytical approach. What I experience quite often, and maybe you’d like to relate to this too, is that these courageous decisions, when this “why” is strong enough and you see it through, aren’t these exactly the decisions that make us feel alive too? So looking at it again from this emotional perspective too?
You know, I developed this happiness app back then, where you record happy moments that you can then keep retrieving. But most happy moments are ultimately a courageous decision that succeeded in hindsight. That means, actually, the more courageous you are, the happier you are. And that doesn’t mean these courageous things you tackle always work out. As I said, the insight alone is enough, that it might not work out sometimes too. And I already said the phrase before, and this really shapes my life — the desire to win should always be stronger than the fear of losing. And I think that’s the main driver. Most people, when they’re facing a courageous decision, create a worst-case scenario. That means they think about what happens if it doesn’t work, what happens if it doesn’t work out, what will others say. And then you create a horror scenario, and it’s so big that you don’t even take the first step. And that’s why, when making a courageous decision, you should think about what happens if it works, what would it be like if it works out, and what would I get out of it if it really is the way I imagine it. And approaching it with this attitude ensures, firstly, that it’s very likely to work out. And yes, and it moves you toward the first step. And even the first step is already a win. So the first step of a courageous action, not even the end of the courageous action, but the first step of doing it, is already a win.
Wonderful, thank you so much. We have one or two more questions from Ismail in the chat, I’d like to pick those up too. He asks, like a running plan, should we have a life plan for life, and how many years in advance is it sensible to plan? How much room should we allow for risk in life? What do you think about that, Patrik?
Well, I’ll say having a life plan is already pretty good. A running plan is good. Most people plan their vacations better than their lives. And I wish more people would make themselves a life plan — who do I want to be, what do I want to be, where do I want to be in five years. And I don’t think you need to make an endless life plan, but the next one, five, and ten years, that’s already a good pattern. And then basically every year, and please not on New Year’s Eve, but on a fixed date every year, update your life plan, change it, reorient it. But a life plan is really important.
Yes, let’s look at that more closely for a moment, because I’m totally with you. There are so many people who just live along in quotes, day in, day out, maybe somehow going to work and so on, and hardly think about it. So many people, if you asked them where do you want to be in five or ten years, for example — I’m picking this up because you brought up these time spans in your explanation — they can’t answer that at all. Everyone can check this for themselves, even here in the audience — how is it for you? Do you know where you want to stand in five years, or in ten years? Do you have, I’ll call it now, a life plan, or a life-phase plan? And that means, in a lot of places, especially when you just live along like this, that one thing or another — if I’m traveling on a ship, or traveling on a plane, if there’s no destination, well, how am I supposed to arrive anywhere? That’s a question I can ask myself on one hand. That’s why I find it really, really valid to talk about a life plan here, and about the relevance of a life plan. And at the same time, you could also argue, well, but the moment I plan everything all the time, then I’m not really in the here and now. So to open up this here-and-now as, in quotes, a kind of counterpoint too, to see, can I be in the here and now and still have a life plan at the same time? Or does this living-along-without-thinking connect with this being-in-the-here-and-now? Or is that a misinterpretation, so to speak, of the concept of living in the here and now?
The life plan is ultimately the compass, your rough direction, so where you want to go, roughly speaking. And in the planning, unpredictable things, opportunities, chances always belong too. So again, I didn’t plan to travel to Bhutan, I didn’t plan to meet the happiness minister, and I also didn’t plan to do a 200-kilometer ultramarathon. But the opportunity arose, and then my life planning, my compass, so to speak, realigned a bit, and I said, this is worth changing or optimizing the plan for. And that’s why you also always have to stay open for these here-and-now things that happen right now, and plan more or less time for that too. So I’ll say, people overestimate what they can achieve in one year, but underestimate what they can achieve in five years. So if you really do something every week, and do that for five years, that has an extremely insane impact on your life. So if you want to train some quality, and you do that once a week, and extrapolate that over five years, you can achieve anything, really anything.
Yes, a really, really important aspect you’re raising, I think. And that’s how Deep Talk came about too, for example. Look, we started with Room 1, and we’ve now reached 840. So in the sense of just steadily continuing, what that can mean in the end, and everything that’s come out of it. That’s just one example among many things we tackle in life, where we start at some point, whatever motivation, whatever “why” behind it. And especially with these New Year’s resolutions or similar, you can very, very often observe this — you can check this for yourselves too, how do you handle it, what behavior do you exhibit, that especially with this switch from one year to the next, a lot of people actually set themselves a lot, lot of things, and maybe start with absolute euphoria at the beginning of the year, at the start of the year, and after a few weeks, so to speak, run out of steam. And I think this can be compared really, really nicely and vividly with a marathon, or also a sprint. That means they do a sprint, and after a few weeks they run out of steam, and then nothing more gets done. So we’re back at this overestimating, and not being able to realize what I can achieve long-term, while overestimating what’s achievable short-term. That means mobilizing the strength. And this has to do with energies too. So if I do many, many small things every day with energy, then, looked at long-term, that has a much bigger leverage effect if I stick with it. And it’s probably similar with your run too, of course. Dear Patrik, it’s not like you’re training in one day, or in three weeks, shortly before, so to speak, building up your fitness. Maybe you’d like to tell us briefly about that — what did these training units look like that you maybe broke down for yourself? How did you prepare for this, or how did you go about preparing yourself, working toward this goal?
How do you eat an elephant? Bit by bit. And then even an elephant is easy to digest. And it’s the same with marathon training. It’s about roughly always running a marathon a week, and roughly half a year before this event. And yes, I did four times ten, so four times ten kilometers, or twice 20, or even, if the week was really bad, I also skipped a week sometimes. You don’t have to force it. I’m not an extreme athlete here, running for times. And that was also the good situation with the training — I never ran for time, only for endurance. And with that I never put pressure on myself. So I never tried to somehow beat the result of last week’s 10-kilometer run, but I always ran my own pace. That’s also a lovely life metaphor, that you always run your own course, so to speak, that you run your own pace, and not the pace of other people, which isn’t your intention at all. And that’s how training works — that you find exactly your rhythm, your life rhythm.
Yes, wonderful, thank you so much. Let me pick up one last question from the chat. Rafael asks, difference in life planning before the stroke versus after the stroke, is there one?
Definitely a 100 percent turnaround. I wouldn’t wish a stroke on anyone, but I’d wish everyone the mindset after a stroke, because you’re simply much clearer in your communication. You know exactly what you want, you know exactly what you don’t want, you make decisions more easily, you’re clearer in all your wording, that’s good for you, but also good for the people around you, and you have — this is actually my favorite saying — you no longer have time for bullshit. That means, if there’s something where I say, this is life-wasting time, then I say, you know, do this on your own, please do it without me, but that doesn’t do anything for me, so I’m out. And this feeling of time, that life is finite, you get that after a stroke. And, as I said, next Wednesday is also Stroke Awareness Day. And there are 270,000 strokes per year. Of those, 80 percent don’t turn out well. And it can hit anyone, from baby age to old age. And that’s why, don’t even let it get that far. Take precautions, good nutrition, sports, fitness, good thoughts, optimism, confidence. And then you’ve made the best preparation for it.
Wonderful, thank you so much. And yes, time flies. We have a few minutes left until the end of the room. So my question to you, dear Patrik, what’s your message? What would you like to say to our listeners in closing?
I recently gave a talk about courage, and I had a closing slide. And I think I’d like to share this closing slide with you. On this slide you see a lock, a keyhole lock, a key, and a person. And below it says, the lock is the path, the key is your will, and the door handle, that’s your courage to push the door open and walk through. And without courage, no will, without will, no path, and without a path, no goal. So I just want to encourage everyone to open the handle of this door more often, and simply get to know new paths and decide on courageous things. And sometimes have a few “courage outbursts” again, instead of anger outbursts — rather a few courage outbursts, and let your comfort zone keep growing bigger and bigger and bigger through that.
Yes, wonderful, thank you so much. That was Patrik Wenke with insight and courage to take risks as our guest for today’s expert talk. Thank you for your time, dear Patrik, and for giving us some insights here. Remember, we’ve shared the link here to the children’s charity ICH e.V. So here you have all the possibilities to also get information about the association, and see if you want to support the campaign and what Patrik’s doing here. If you find this cool, feel free to go to this page. The bank details and everything is listed there too, so you can support this campaign too — on one hand the run, the idea, and on the other hand, at the same time, the combination or connection to doing something good for children too. I really find it wonderful. I think it’s great, these short-notice, in quotes — well, often maybe they’re spontaneous whims we have. Not that I want to say, Patrik, that this is a spontaneous whim you’re tackling here. But often, when we look back, at least for me, they’re sometimes ideas we’d call spontaneous whims, that make up a moment, that come up. And especially these spontaneous whims, when we follow through on them, I think that’s an incredible enrichment, what can come out of it. And you said it so nicely earlier, that it basically opens a door. And then it’s fascinating to see what opportunities are hidden behind this door. And you’ve described such lovely moments too, where it really becomes clear what can come out of just an idea, an undertaking, along the way there, so to speak, and how we can make connections, like here, for example, supporting the children’s charity too. And so I think those were really wonderful insights you gave, and hopefully it’ll inspire one person or another too. I’d hope for that, to maybe reflect on one thing or another in your own life, consciously reflect, and consciously make new decisions, different decisions too. And I’m really curious. Tomorrow we continue with insight and personal growth — so how do gaining insight and growth, personal growth, connect? Here too I’m already looking forward to the various examples from your own lives that you can bring in, so we can open up different perspectives and look at it together in exchange. In that sense, you’re all very, very warmly invited to join again tomorrow at 8am. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for participating via chat, and thank you so much, dear Patrik, for your time and for these wonderful impulses you’ve given us today.
Very gladly, have a wonderfully lovely day, and a courageous day.
Wonderful, thank you so much. A lovely day to you all. Until then. Ciao.
